In this last episode of the season, we talk about change. How to navigate it? Claudia Parada, AMFT, take us thru the journey of embracing change and shares unique challenges that latinx and first-generation women face. Join the conversation on how mental health, therapy and healing empower Latinx women to achieve their full potential.
In this last episode of the season, we talk about change. How to navigate it? Claudia Parada, AMFT @itsclaudiaparada, take us thru the journey of embracing change and shares unique challenges that latinx and first-generation women face:
Join the conversation on how mental health. therapy and healing empower Latinx women to achieve their full potential.
Meet Claudia:
Website: https://claudiaparadaenergy.com/
Instagram: @itsclaudiaparada
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Life 100 Podcast
Navigating Change: Latinx Women and Mental Health
Host: Rosie
Guest: Claudia Parada
Rosie [00:05]:
Welcome back to Life 100 Podcast! This is Rosie, and it's so good to be with you today. This special season, when we start something new, what a great way to have a conversation with our guest Claudia Parada. She is a licensed therapist, a mental health practitioner, and a first-generation Latina. Claudia, welcome to the show!
Claudia Parada [00:33]:
Thank you so much, Rosie. I'm so excited to be here and connect with you. I'm really excited for our conversation today.
Rosie [00:42]:
We have been trying to get this recording for such a long time and what better way to get it started than during the Spring Season in the starting of something new. What we are going to talk about is navigating change. Because one thing that is constant is change and the uncertainty that comes with it, things that we need to adjust and adapt. So share not only your story but on things that we can do to make this navigation a successful one. First of all, one thing I know about you is that you are a first-generation Latina. So you were born in the United States and I believe your parents are from Nicaragua. Is that correct?
Claudia Parada [01:25]:
That's right. Yeah. So both of my parents are from Nicaragua as well as the rest of my family. I was born here in San Francisco.
Rosie [01:33]:
San Francisco, California is one of my favorite places to go, to visit, and to enjoy. So tell us about your journey and how being a first-generation Latina also influenced that journey to this concept that we are going to talk about navigating change.
Claudia Parada [01:51]:
Absolutely. It's such a rich question. I grew up in San Francisco Bay area and my family has a pretty strong community of other Nicaraguans here. So I grew up in two worlds, not navigating, but finding the balance between being very much growing up in this culture around a lot of English-speaking people and with my family. I grew up with my grandparents in the house too. So I was pretty connected to that culture as well in those values, like having very strong family ties and speaking Spanish at home. I mean, it was just really interesting seeing now, like looking back and knowing, wow, I was really in kind of like these two worlds at one time. For me, it was really interesting because when I came into adulthood, it was kind of like this awakening of, wow. I have been told a lot of messages and a lot of values about my culture and who I am as a woman, as a Latina, and as a daughter of my immigrant parents about who I need to be and how I need to be.
Claudia Parada [03:01]:
And then what success is and all of those different messages. And for some of those, I was like, Hmm, does this actually even work for me? I mean, I feel like that was kind of a big turning point in my adulthood. I don't know if I subscribe to these values anymore. So that's where the shift started happening. I started to question, do I actually believe these messages that I was told? Do I actually believe the things that I was told about myself and it really was quite a rupture. Like it was quite a destabilizing time. I mean, I'm happy that I went through it and came out on the other side and continue to question, but it caused a lot of tension with me and my family. Especially as I began to prioritize myself and my needs. It was a lot of judgment. It was a lot of arguing. It was quite a time.
Rosie [03:49]:
I can relate with that so much because it's kind of what I call, a disrupted change. And based on that, you have such rich content on Instagram that I love to follow. Because you recently made three posts that I want to bring into the picture. The first one that I was reading was about asking for help. The second one is the term of what areas of my life are asking for my attention. That is incredible. I would like you to expand on that. And the third part is on boundaries. So about asking for help, how this concept of navigating change really reflects on.
Claudia Parada [04:33]:
As far as asking for help and then also navigating change. I think there's so much that can be said here. One of the things that feel really present for me as I'm considering this question was I remember right after giving birth to my children, I was like, there are things that I need help with that I don't even know how to recognize that I need help right now. And I feel like that was one of the really disorienting pieces to be in that space. It really did take someone else coming in and saying, Hey, you know, you can have help in this way. We know we can help you in this way. So that was really interesting. In that kind of place where we navigate change and we don't always recognize that we need it. That was where these questions really kind of were born out of.
Claudia Parada [05:22]:
One of the things that I said in that post was if there's ever a time that you recognize yourself asking, man, I really wish I had X. Like I really wish I had whatever is for you. I think for me at that time was like, I really wish I had someone to hold the baby when I go take a shower. Just really playing in that imaginary space and then realizing that it may actually be closer and more possible than we think that it is. I think one of the things in that post, I also said like, well, what feels provocative? Like, oh my gosh, I could never have that. Then start putting it out there as a thing that you may actually be able to achieve.
Rosie [06:02]:
I can relate to that so much because I remember growing up in Puerto Rico. One thing that I heard over time, and I really never liked it is when people say it is encouragement, but it didn't really meet the standard of encouragement. I heard the term “Mira mija, te ahogas en un vaso de agua,” that is, “You are drowning in a cup of water”. Meaning that you need to know how to get out of something without asking for help. But then at the same time, we are encouraged to help everybody else. And those two are such two different ways of doing things. Isn't it?
Claudia Parada [06:42]:
I agree, and what a powerful reflection to have. I've never heard that expression before, but I'm really resonating with that. How come we can't also get that same support from ourselves. I deserve, I'm worthy of support as well. I can have help. I can ask for help, even though I may not know how to do it yet. It's a thing that's actually possible.
Rosie [07:03]:
Absolutely. I normalized to seek help also from professionals like you, mental health professionals because at one point I was considered taboo. As a Latina concentrating also on your professional services to other Latinas, how do you see this shift of navigating this change in generations?
Claudia Parada [07:23]:
It is something that I find really encouraging in the climate that we're in right now. In my experience, people are really wanting to seek out therapy. We do need to lean on one another because we're really not meant to do things alone.
Rosie [07:37]:
No, we are not. Absolutely. Sometimes that cultural environment was the decisive factor on what type of council a friend or another family member can give you. It was in that limitation. And that is what I want to bring now on the second post that you had is what areas of my life are asking for my attention. Tell me a little bit more about it.
Claudia Parada [08:06]:
There's something in your life potentially that is asking for you to notice it. And so really inviting yourself to take a look at well, what is the thing? What is the thing that's really asking me to put my focus on it? This is especially true when we have a physical ailment or body pain like you have a neck ache or you have a backache, but your body's actually telling you, I need you to pay attention to me. I really like allowing yourself a moment to pause and be like, Hmm, what is going on? Am I thirsty? Do I need fresh air? All of those different little nuance things that if we're going, going, going, we might miss inviting your attention there.
Rosie [08:46]:
Yes. Also the part of, why am I feeling this way, like another layer, like an onion, different layers. And maybe we will discover something that we never thought about.
Claudia Parada [09:00]:
I really appreciate you bringing that question in too. Because to go into that deeper layer, I think is the part that feels challenging for many of us. I think there's such a world of complexity that could come through. If we really give it an opportunity to merge like, oh, I'm actually scared to ask because I'm afraid I might not be supported and then I'm afraid it might bring a conflict. So just in that, I'm revealing all of these fears that I had. That's actually dictating my decisions and I didn't even recognize that until I gave myself a moment to reflect on it.
Rosie [09:33]:
And during those moments, sometimes we have to consider some boundaries and that is another post that you made. That's one of my favorite topics to talk about on boundaries, because for some reason, sometimes people think of boundaries as something negative, but there is so much more than that. Can you expand on that concept and the importance of setting boundaries?
Claudia Parada [10:00]:
Absolutely. What's interesting is because the conversation on boundaries has really been the last couple of years, being at the forefront of all of the things that we see on social media. It's been really interesting because I think in our families, boundaries can be seen as something really negative or very rigid or very firm. And everybody's like, I want to learn how to set boundaries. I do see boundaries as this thing that gets to be firm, but also fluid and also helps support intimacy in a relationship. Because instead of being divisive and creating distance, which in a sense it does, it can also be an opportunity to deepen an understanding.
Rosie [10:44]:
Yes. And is something that not only needs to be taught but having the freedom to exercise it. Now we are in this particular time in life where boundaries, we can see the positive effects of it, but how are we going to exercise it? How are we going to become comfortable? So then it becomes second nature. What are your takes on that?
Claudia Parada [11:07]:
I think one having the awareness of there's a need that needs to be met in me. Then how can I create a life around that need or an experience around that need that I'm wanting? Sometimes that involves creating a boundary and then having support around building that skill. I see boundaries as a muscle that needs to be developed. So that includes communicating around it and then dealing with emotions that come up around it also interpersonally like how you have conversations about it. Then also continuing to flex that muscle. So as you said like it's a practice that it is that we're going to have to engage in pretty much for the rest of our lives.
Rosie [11:44]:
Yes. What are some of the examples of boundaries that people can see? How setting a boundary might be beneficial for them?
Claudia Parada [11:51]:
I'll give an example of myself. I think for me, I had a pretty serious chronic illness. I get pretty tired. And so what's really interesting is that within my family, I was always expected to go to all of the parties and attend and be social and all of those different things. I think that a lot of people can relate like, oh, you have to be here because it's family and it's Tio’s birthday or whatever it is. For me telling people, no, I'm actually not available because of the way that I feel or because I'm tired. That was a big one. So holidays, parties saying no when somebody's expecting you to be there or do something for them. Then sometimes it's even saying no, and this is going to be a provocative one, but just like saying no to things just because you don't want to, like, you don't even necessarily need to have a reason aside from the answer is just no.
Rosie [12:39]:
Absolutely. Like I hear that “No.” is a complete sentence. We need to get comfortable in saying no, so that we can say yes to ourselves sometimes. Some people might translate that as being insensitive or being “egoista” selfish. And like you said, sometimes it's just because we are not ready or we don't want to say yes.
Claudia Parada [13:07]:
Imagine, how powerful is that?
Rosie [13:09]:
In the concept of navigating change and the uncertainty that brings, what tips can you bring that will make this process something to look forward to?
Claudia Parada [13:19]:
That's a good question. I don't necessarily know that what I'm going to say is going to have you look forward to it, but maybe something that can help support it is if you're embarking on a change is just one acknowledging your experience. Like whatever's happening for you, give yourself time to be with that and witness yourself through the change. What I mean by that is like, I think change can be very scary. So in just allowing yourself to say, Hey, you know what? I'm changing, I'm navigating something that is new. It can really make a big difference to kind of just give yourself that compassion, that kindness to yourself, and then understand that there's kind of like a practice to it. As you're changing, there are going to be different emotions that come up as you're expanding and you're moving from a new place, that expansion can also feel like growing pains. So really yes, again, taking it easy on yourself, giving yourself a lot of care. Then also celebrating the wins if you will, that you have made the changes that it is that you have made as small as it is that they may see.
Rosie [14:28]:
Yes, I'm a big believer in celebrating yourself along the way. Some people just celebrate when something is completed or when something is big, but those little changes that you chose to do and you decided to continue and you see that it is taking you to another place, little by little, celebrating it. Change is very uncomfortable, especially when you don't know the outcome. For some people can see it as a big risk, but it could be a worthy one if it's going to help you move forward and to grow as a person and understand a little bit more about yourself.
Claudia Parada [15:05]:
Yes. I think the last thing that I'll say about that too, is know that you can get support, and feel supported, even though it's not going to necessarily take that discomfort away. You can still do things that help soothe you while you are in a place of discomfort. So, I mean, that could look like getting a hug from a friend or taking a nap or taking a bath, just like really simple things that will support you along that change.
Rosie [15:33]:
Yes. And giving yourself time to get some clarity along the way. So what else that we haven't covered yet would you like to share with us?
Claudia Parada [15:42]:
If you do find yourself in a place where you are changing, I think what you said Rosie, in the beginning, was so important. I think that when we are in a place of change, it can feel really disorienting, but change is constant. Like what you said, it's totally a normal part of life and then supporting yourself and embracing it and supporting yourself as you're working through that change, can really make a big difference. Like you don't have to white knuckle your way through it. It can really be a game-changer if you do go slow.
Rosie [16:12]:
Wonderful, and what a beautiful way to conclude this conversation, just showing ways that we can navigate change in a way that we have support and that eventually will result in the things that we are seeking for. For that, let us know how we can get in touch with you. Where can we reach you?
Claudia Parada [16:34]:
If you can find me on Instagram @itsclaudiaparada, or you can go to my website at www.ClaudiaParadaEnergy.com. So there are lots of resources there too and then also on my Instagram. So happy for you to reach out to me in any capacity.
Rosie [16:50]:
Thank you so much, Claudia, for sharing this time with us, like I said, I invite you to visit her Instagram because her post and the depth with the explanation on the post are just a wealth of information. So thank you, Claudia, once again for being with us. And let's rejoice in engaging in this journey of embracing change and also looking at the uncertainties that might come with it.
Claudia Parada [17:19]:
Great. Thank you so much, Rosie thank you for having me.
Rosie [17:21]:
Talk to you later.
Claudia Parada [17:22]:
Talk to you later.
Rosie [17:24]:
What a great conversation and thank you for sharing this message, for being part of this journey. And I invite you to visit her social media that is full of insight and inspiration. And once again, thank you for listening and like, leave a comment, and subscribe. Follow us because like I always say, life is better when you Live it at 100!